Tag Archives: Birth Stories

The Birth Interview Project | Destiny’s Traumatic Natural Hospital Birth

10 Dec

The Birth Interview Project consists of 17 simple questions designed to help mothers process their birth story & share it with others. All mothers are invited to take part in this project. Born out of Joy’s desire to help women discover, process and express the  feelings surrounding their birth experiences, The Birth Interview Project strives to offer a platform for mothers and readers alike to share and be heard, to search and to discover, to identify and to heal, and to exhort and remember. The views and opinions expressed here are unique to each woman who takes part in the Birth Interview Project and may not always reflect the values of the blog author.

Destiny and I first got to know each other after she became engaged to my buddy, Jonathan.  She was pure Texas (and still is) and Jonathan is pure Belgium.  You can learn all about their life together in Belgium by visiting Destiny’s blog:  BELGEXAN.  Destiny is a prolific writer and shares her heart, always, with honesty, beauty and humor.

Destiny may not know this, but it was while she blogged in GREAT detail about her pregnancy and birth with her first baby, her daughter, Lyric, that I learned pregnant women have something disgusting called a mucus plugs and get this, it falls out!  I also discovered the horror of … postpartum bleeding (WHAT!).  Yeah, back in the day, when I was young and newly married and hadn’t given a single thought to birthing babies, Destiny’s blog posts about her pregnancy and birth rocked my world.  She left no stone uncovered, and when I became pregnant with my daughter, she was one of the VERY first friends I wrote to from Israel (where we lived and worked as volunteer workers) to tell.

I have a tender place in my heart for Destiny’s natural birth experience.  It did not go as planned. In fact, it went horribly (she won’t mind my saying so).  I have struggled with guilt over the idea that perhaps I sold Destiny on the idea of some euphoric, natural birth experience.  She swears to me and I quote, “You did not sell me at all! This was what I wanted to do ever since I almost did it with Shiloh. After I had him this was my big regret–not giving myself the shot to push myself to my limits. Now I have and I didn’t like it.”  I’ve started to realize through Destiny’s birth, and maybe you will too, that an un-medicated birth isn’t for every mother out there.

I have come to learn that what is most important are happy moms who love their birth experiences, and happy babies who get to snuggle up with their momma immediately after birth. Drugs or not, hospital, birth center or home, it doesn’t matter to me any more. I simply want Moms to have the birth that they want to have while supported and cared for by birth professionals.

Without further ado, I give you Destiny’s interview.  I think you’ll enjoy it.  Please feel free to respond and or voice your questions to Destiny in the comments.

(Destiny’s complete birth story can be read on her blog, here.  I highly recommend that you take the time to read her whole story to give you a sense of her journey.)

Please give a brief description of yourself, and what number baby/birth you’re sharing with us:

I’m a 28-year-old full-time mom and missionary in Belgium. I have a dashing European husband Jonathan, a 4-year-old daughter, Lyric and two sons, Shiloh (almost 3), and Valor (8 months).  I’ve decided to share my last birth with you although my other two were pretty awesome too, just with less screaming.

What was your due date, and what was your baby’s birth date?

I was due March 30th and Valor was born April 7th.

What was Valor’s weight and length?

6 pounds 11 ounces and 19 1/2 inches long.

Continue reading

Noah Luke’s Birth Story. Part 2.

19 May

Read Part 1 Here || Read Part 3 Here

At around 1:30ish my mom and I left Inanna Birth Center and headed home.  As I stepped out of my car taking a few steps towards my house, I had a light contraction.  I didn’t think much about it because it knew it was normal to experience cramping as a result of having your membranes swept, but it was strong enough to give me pause.  I stopped for a few seconds and simply breathed through it and then headed inside.

By 2pm the cramping intensified and they were coming in waves fairly regularly.  I had my mom begin to time them for me.  Three minutes apart and anywhere from a minute to 90 seconds long.  The pain was tolerable. It wasn’t enough to make me feel that I was in real or active labor yet.  I actually considered that this was possibly another false start and tried to focus on other things, like putting my daughter, Zoe, down for her afternoon nap.

Once Zoe was asleep, I decided that I should help things along since it was the middle of the afternoon, after all.  I pulled out the ball and began to rock through the contractions on all fours while leaning over on the ball.  The contractions were still coming every 2 to 3 minutes and continued to keep a momentum of a minute to 90 seconds long.  Really things weren’t changing too much, however, it did seem like they were getting just a touch stronger (or was that my imagination?).

Laboring on the ball in early labor.

Early labor. Breathing through a contraction.

At around 3pm, my mom asked me if I wanted to call my sister in Austin and tell her to come. The plan was to contact her once I knew I was in labor and she would make the four hour road trip from Austin to Denton so that she could be present for Noah’s birth.  I told my mom to wait, because I still wasn’t convinced this was the real deal.  I had experienced so much practice labor the last few days, that I didn’t want to have Alysa come all this way for a false alarm.  I suggested that we wait and see what was happening around 4pm before we made any phone calls.

My contractions stayed at the same pace, and remained tolerable on the pain scale, meaning I could talk in between them and cope through them without having to give much thought to it.  I knew it wasn’t anything serious yet.  In fact, at this stage, when I wasn’t contracting, I was cleaning the living room, sweeping the floor and singing along to music.  I remember thinking that if I was going to have a baby today then at least I could come home to a clean house.

Around 3:45 I went to use the rest room.  It was then that I knew I was indeed in labor.  I had obvious bloody show. Bloody show is light bleeding that occurs as a result of a woman’s cervix dilating in labor. I came out of the bathroom, pulled out the bag I was planning on bringing to the birth center, changed into my “birthing outfit”  and put on a pair of depends.  There, I thought to myself.  Let’s do this….I am in labor.

Here’s a fun Facebook interaction that happened right around that exact time that I realized I was in labor:

The Mommypotamus:  Dear Joy, please have your baby soon so I can host another birth story bash. There are so many breathtaking stories to share, but I’m waiting for you. :)  

April 13 at 3:49pmJoy: pretty sure I am in labor right now.

April 13 at 4:50pm: The Mommypotamus:  SERIOUSLY??? Oh that is amazing Joy! Praying for beautiful birth and perfect positioning for your little one! Does this mean I get to be in your birth story???

Yes, The Mommypotamus, you are officially in my birth story! Around 4pm, I texted Jean, my midwife, to let her know things were cooking and texted my sister to come.  I also let Lindy, our good friend, know that tonight was the night we would need her to watch Zoe.  I turned up the music and begin to read some positive affirmations over myself for this birth.  And like a switch, when I finally recognized that I was in real labor, my contractions picked up intensity.

However, in between contractions I was still fine…texting and updating Facebook even.  I even decided that the dining room floor needed to be swept and did so in between contractions. Obviously, there was a part of me that wasn’t 100% committed to being in labor.  Which is why by 4:30 my contractions slowed down to five minutes apart and the intensity of the contractions lessened as well. I think this was a sign that I wasn’t allowing myself to really let go and surrender to the work of birth. Zoe had also woke up from her nap and was wondering what was going on with mommy. Around that time, our friend Lindy texted to see if she had time to go home and grab a few things before coming over to watch Zoe.  I told her sure,  she mentioned she would come by the house around six.

I remember going into my room to get some space, when all of a sudden the next contraction I had knocked me in the gut and took me apart from end to end.  I leaned over my bed and pushed out the pain with my breath.  The contraction had a nice bell curve to it, starting out small and peaking at the middle with lots of pressure in my lady garden and then slowly fading out.  Oh yes, this is it.  I stepped out of my room and my mom looked at me and said, “I heard that, sounds like you’re picking up.” I nodded my head, and was still trying to catch my breath.

The next few contractions were following suite.  I now knew without question we needed to leave for the birth center ASAP.  The pressure I experienced with these contractions was very intense, to say the least, and I began to wonder if I was in transition.  I needed help getting through these contractions.  It felt like a mac truck was barreling down through my body and trying to make its exit between my legs. Peter was right by my side.  I  held on to him for dear life and I vocalized as we slow danced together through each contraction. After the contractions ended, I asked Peter to call Lindy and tell her to come right away,  we needed to leave NOW –  this baby was coming quick.  That was approximatively 5: 15 pm.

Vocalizing through my contraction while holding on to Peter. Zoe doesn’t seem to be bothered.

Slow dancing through contractions with Peter.

Just then, Jean, my midwife, called to check on me.  I could NOT answer or talk on the phone, so Peter answered.  She didn’t even need to ask what was going on, because she could hear me in the back ground bellowing through my contractions, as I leaned over the dining room table.  She told him to get me to the birth center right away.  He let her know we were leaving just as soon as Lindy arrived.  The next contraction the pressure intensified and I told Peter, “We have to leave RIGHT NOW!”  My mom agreed to stay at the house with Zoe and wait for Lindy to arrive.  According to my phone we called Lindy, at 5:20pm to tell her to come ASAP. The plan was to have Lindy drop my mom off at the birth center, which is about a 7-10 minute drive from our house.  Good.  Shortly after that we were out the door and on our way.

Read Part 1 Here || Read Part 3 Here

Zoe’s Waterbirth Story

27 Apr

Zoe Hallel, ten days old. In her daddy’s arms.

Friday morning, March 6th, 2009, nine days past my due date. I do a few things around the house, including pumping for a while (till the pump finally broke – Yes, I officially broke the pump, I own a new one now), and take apart the car seat to wash it. I then change and get ready to take a walk to help induce labor. Just then Peter comes home from class. It’s near 2pm, and I ask him if he would like to come with. So Peter, Nutmeg and I take a long walk through UNT campus. It is a beautiful sunny day, the weather is perfect.

We are mostly quiet during the walk. At one point I confess to Peter how I have concerns that if I am not able to go into labor naturally, or be induced via the birthing center way (since they had tried once already and it was a no go) that I may have to go to the hospital to be induced and that was a frightening idea since I had so desperately wanted a natural birth with a midwife. Peter understood my concerns and comforts me without denying my emotions. I always appreciate his thoughtfulness.

Water Breaks?

We begin our way back home. While walking down a small hill to cross the street I suddenly feel a gush of fluid and my heart practically stops. I grab Peter and say, “My water just broke!” I am in shock, I never expected to be someone whose water broke and then labor started. Peter asks if I want to stay there and he would come pick me up with the car and I say, “No, walking home is probably a good idea.” I am so excited, I instantly call Alysa (my sister who lives in Austin 4 hours away) and tell her the news.

We get home, and my dad is in the living room resting on the couch and mom is in the kitchen and I say, “Wake up, my water just broke.” My mom instantly appears in the living room with a big smile, and they both say, “Really!”

41 weeks. Officially over due.

I call the midwife and tell her that I think my water broke and she says, “Better get you in here and check you out.” Before leaving the house, I take a shower, stupidly put on makeup and a sun-dress and finish putting my bag together, all the while mild to moderate contractions are setting in. I am so annoyed with myself for not having put my bag together prior to this, though I had it all on top of my dresser waiting to be packed, it is just not what you want to do while you are in labor.

From there Peter and I leave for the birthing center. When we get there Lynne asks if my water had broke, and I say yes. She tells me to go put on a depends (sexy, huh?) and tells us to wait for Jean. A couple from our childbirth class were in the exam room with Jean, they walk out and congratulate me. I could barely muster a smile at that point; I was leaning over in pain from a contraction.

Jean leads us into the exam room and checks my cervix, I am dilated to three but I am almost fully effaced. She tells me that the bag of water is still intact and that I must have just peed on myself, but that either way I was in labor. I tell her if that was pee that was the most I’ve peed in a long time. We talk a bit further and she advises us to go home and labor until Betty would arrive at the birth center at 7pm.

Early Labor

By the time we get home, around 4 PM, my contractions are very consistent, five minutes apart and fairly uncomfortable. I am somewhat disappointed to be going home, but also glad to be back in the comfort of my house. Peter puts on some music and I get on all fours on the bed and rock through my contractions. By 6 PM my contractions have gained a considerable level of intensity, we pull out the balance ball and the rolling-pin. Peter and mom help me get through my contractions by massaging my lower back through the rushes. Dad is busy taking pictures and eating Churches chicken fingers.

Peter applying counter pressure to my back, and my mother massaging my hip through contractions.

During a contraction my dad asked me to give him a smile. This was all I could manage.

In between contractions. A big (fake) smile.

At this point, I am still able to laugh in between contractions. At 6:30 Betty calls to let me know she would be at the birthing center in about in hour. I am starting to get a little concerned, because I feel I am progressing pretty quickly, she reassures me that I will be fine and to hang in there.

It’s 8:30 pm (we were waiting for my sister to arrive from Austin before we left for the birth center) and I am still laboring at home, though I am in a LOT of pain during my contractions. They feel like the worst cramps ever, my muscles in my lower back and abdomen are twisting unbearably with each rush. I also begin to get labor shakes – that cause my whole body shake uncontrollably, from head to toe. Betty, my nurse midwife has called and asked us to please come in, and we agree, by now, we feel we can’t wait any more for my sister to arrive and we leave for the birth center. Mom and I get in the back of the truck and Peter drives. Laboring in the truck is NO fun, I’m glad mom is with me. Fortunately, the birthing center is not that far away. Just as we leave Alysa arrives. Dad and Alysa follow us there.

Arrival at the Birth Center

When I arrive at the birthing center, Betty checks me in the exam room. I am dilated to six and fully effaced! YAY. I settle in the birth room, sit on the birthing ball and ready myself for the next contractions. The room is perfect – Betty has lit candles and turned down the lighting. Peter brings in the iPod and we are listening to Emilou Harris. I remember at one point lying on my side on the bed with Peter behind holding me in his arms. I was in the worst pain I had experienced yet. I kept thinking inside, I’m not sure I can do this, and as soon as I would think that, I would say out loud, “I can do this, my body is created to do this, I have nothing to fear.”

I found that laying on my side was too uncomfortable for me, and it was better for me to move through my contractions. I would squat down or sway from side to side, but the best position was on the birthing ball – as Betty would squeeze my hips together during a contraction.

Transition

Just then, I immediately knew I was going to puke, Betty brings the trash can over and, whew, there it all went.  At this point, Betty decides to check me again. She said typically puking is a good sign, means your on your way into transition. Sure enough, I am dilated to an 8. Betty suggests I get in the shower or the tub, I know I need the tub. As soon as there was just a little water in it I get in. Mom uses the spray massage on my back while I rock on all fours through the contractions – with a low, loose moan, (kinda like a cow bellowing). For some reason, this vocalization helps me ride the contraction. Once the tub was full, I float through each contraction. I had read that it was good to keep your body completely relaxed during contractions, that it made your body labor faster and helped lessen the pain.

And there is pain for sure. It is about midnight, and it is around this time that I begin to think I am stupid for going natural and that drugs seem like a really good idea right about now. These transition contractions are by FAR the most painful, I can literally feel Zoe pushing down through my body – the pressure in my bottom is almost unbearable. At this point, no one can do anything for me but wait.  Again, I puke, Betty gives me medicine to help stop puking. Eventually, I feel a need to push and tell Betty. Betty encourages me to go ahead and try pushing. Sure enough, pushing feels right and that’s what I start to do. Betty calls Charity, the birthing assistant and tells her it is time to arrive.

As a side note, all along, Betty had been checking Zoe’s heart rate. And Zoe was a handling labor like a champ, even through the contractions Zoe’s heart tones remained strong.

Pushing

It was time to push! I sit up in the tub and lean my chin down to my chest and begin to bare down. It really did feel like I was pooing, all the same muscles are involved, but it’s much harder. Pushing is equally the best feeling in the world and also unnerving, at this point I really feel as though I have NO control over my body. Pushing is the only thing I can do, and I lose all fear. I hold Peter’s hand throughout the entire pushing and birth. I remember Betty telling me that she could see Zoe’s head, and that she has dark hair. She tells me I can put my hand down and touch the tip of her head. I did, this inspired me to push even harder. My baby needs to come out!

Pushing

Zoe arrives after 27 minutes of pushing. I remember Betty gently coaching me through the rushes, to push longer or harder, and then to slow my breathing down in between. Finally the push came where Zoe begins to crown, Betty and Charity are very excited because Zoe is still in her sack – en caul. They comment on how rare this is and that it is a sign of good luck. I could have cared less at this point. I just nod and keep pushing. But with the very next push, the sack breaks with such a force that it scares me and I stop pushing and my eyes pop open and I look up at Betty, she explains that there is nothing to worry about and that it was just the sack had broken. So I keep pushing. There is a burning sensation when she crowns, but not half as bad as I thought it would be. In one quick motion, Zoe’s head and arm come out together in what’s known as a compound presentation  (in fact it was so fast that Betty wasn’t able to finish putting on a clean pair of gloves to catch). Betty tells me to push again, and woosh, Zoe’s whole body comes out.

Holding my daughter for the first time and crying my eyes out, a moment I will never forget.

Birth

Feeling Zoe’s body leave mine was the most incredible, indescribable feeling I have ever known. There’s nothing like it in the world. Instantly, Betty scoops up Zoe and places her in my arms. I start bawling of course! As I sit in the warm water of the tub, I fell Zoe’s little body move in my arms. I feel the umbilical cord dangle from Zoe and tug inside of me. Zoe isn’t crying, but cooing and making sweet little sighs, her arms jerking slowly from side to side. It is the most precious, tender moment I ever known. At one point somebody actually asks me if I am okay, because I just can’t stop crying. Zoe is born after ten hours of labor, on March 7, at 12:57 AM.

Falling in love with my child.

Once the cord stops pulsating, Betty asks Peter if he wants to cut the cord. He does. Later he tells me it felt hard and took a lot to cut it. I hand Zoe to Peter and they lead me out of the tub in order to push out the placenta. I stand there in the tub shaking, while they take off my wet sports bra and wrap me in white soft towels (I feel so helpless and weak, but completely drunk with happiness). They help me step out of the tub and towards the bed. I am shaking uncontrollably still. I take another step forward towards the bed when, woosh – a gush of blood leaves my body. I am shocked. I am standing naked in a huge puddle of my own blood and it has splashed all over my legs and feet and onto the hardwood floor. What a sight, like some horror flick. Betty immediately explains that everything is fine and that it was gush of blood letting us know the placenta had detached. I keep apologizing, I feel really bad that they have to clean up that mess.

Third Stage, Repair and Nursing

They lay me on the bed and have me push out my placenta. Two gentle pushes and it is out. Then the rough part begins, inspecting my “bottom” to see where I have torn and stitching me up. It takes Betty about 10 minutes to stitch me up. This is a PAINFUL experience. The shots of lidocaine are not nice going in – prick and burn. I feel the tugs of the stitches and the needle, but the worse part is when Betty pulls a stitch through where the lidocaine had not reached. “OOOOOW ow ow ooow” I yell! I make more noise in that moment than in my entire labor, she apologizes immediately but explains that she needs to pull the stitch through and then add more lidocaine. I practices my breathing at this point. They also bring over Zoe so that I could look at her for distraction. VERY HELPFUL.

Distraction during the repair.

Zoe nursing for the first time and Auntie “A” meeting her newest niece.

Once that is all done, it is time to nurse. Charity helps show me how and Zoe latches on perfectly. It is a beautiful moment for me. Throughout this whole time Charity pushes on my stomach to check my bleeding and my uterus, this is uncomfortable but not too bad. Charity continues to comment on how little bleeding I have. This is good news – which I accredit to drinking red raspberry leaf tea from Howling Wolf Energy Herbs.

Newborn Exam

After Zoe finishes nursing, Betty begins her newborn exam.  Zoe is 7 lbs and 6 oz. I’m shocked. I expected her to weigh more, especially because I was overdue by 10 days and at my 41 week ultrasound the technician said Zoe weighed 8 lb and 6 oz. But this again proved that my due date was wrong, otherwise, I think Zoe would have been a bigger baby if I was truly ten days past due. The Dr. in Israel gave me a due date of March 4th and once I was in the states, the ultrasound indicated that my due date was February 24th. Obviously, my Jewish doctor had it going on.

Newborn exam given by the midwife.

Depends, I say

Meanwhile Betty has two phone calls in a row. Two other moms are in labor and are on their way to the birthing center. Which means they have to get me out of this room fast. So they start to pack up the room, but before I can leave, I have to pee. It’s part of the procedure, to make sure your plumbing is okay you need to pee before you are, no pun intended, discharged. So Charity, the birthing assistant, leads me, stark naked mind you, to the bathroom helps me sit on the toilet and waits with me while I pee. I feel somewhat funny that I am not bothered by the fact that I’m completely naked in front of her and sitting on the toilet to boot. Not exactly the most flattering moment in my life, so I comment on it, and Charity agrees that there is something about childbirth that temporarily takes away all your body worries. So not only did Charity help me to the toilet she also helps to rinse me off and pull up my Depends, yes I did say, “Depends” because of the post pregnancy bleeding they advise you to wear depends the first few days to avoid ruining your favorite pair of granny panties.

From the bathroom, Charity takes me into the main room and my midwife and Alysa help dress me. I keep asking when I can go home. But there’s a requirement that you have to stay at least two hours post delivery. So they lead me to the office where they’ve made up the pull out bed, the first time it’s needed to be used I’m told (since the other two rooms are being prepped for the other moms coming in). Charity comes in and reads me all sorts of stuff and has me sign all sorts of things. Peter has left to get the car (since we came in Dad’s truck and the car seat is in our car) and also bring me an egg sandwich back. So I’m eating the sandwich and talking with Charity, mom is holding Zoe and Peter taking stuff out to the car.  Once the car seat was ready, we put Zoe in the seat, she is soooo, sooo tiny, and we head out the door.

Zoe, a few hours old, ready to head home.

Home

I get home and I am in la-la-land. I can’t believe that I have just birthed my child. I post a note on Facebook, step on my bathroom scale, I am already down 20 lbs, and go to bed. Though I can hardly sleep. There she is, Zoe, perfect little Zoe, like a little cherub, asleep. The most amazing day of my life ended with the most amazing gift possible, a beautiful, healthy little girl and she’s all mine (and Peter’s too).

Thanks be to God.

So much love, so little sleep.

Zoe Hallel, asleep on her daddy’s chest

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