Joy’s Top Ten Most Read Posts of 2013

31 Dec

Top Ten Posts of 2013
10. Pushing and Beyond | Tips for the 2nd Stage of Labor: I talk about practical ways a doula and or loved one can support a woman when she’s pushing in a typical hospital setting – I cover everything from where to stand and what to say to a mother in between contractions. Like I said, very practical.

pushing and beyond tips for the second stage of labor

9. Simple Tips That Reveal Your Newborn Is Full: When newborns are hungry their body language show clear signs of this hunger long before they start crying; likewise when babies are full their body language tells us this too. I have two infographics on this link which describe these hunger and fullness cues.

Breastfeeding tip open hands

8. I Encapsulated My Placenta | Pictures Included: I show – in great detail – the encapsulation process of my placenta from my son’s birth. I also talk about the benefits I experienced from ingesting it. This link has seriously graphic placenta photos – I know some of y’all like that though. ;)

she ate her placenta

7. The Best Parenting Advice I Ever Received Wasn’t Spoken: I talk about how broken and helpless I felt during the early days of my son’s colic and the things that helped me cope the most. Hint: good friends who knew not to give advice but to simply be present.


6. Mother-Led Weaning | How and Why I Gently Weaned My Son: I share my story of gently weaning my almost 18-month-old son, Noah. I give tips on what worked for us and I also talk about my personal reasons for weaning.

Mother led weaning

5. How I Learned to Support A Mother’s Choice Not To Breastfeed: I share a very personal experience that fostered more compassion and respect in my heart towards mothers who choose not to breastfeed.

bottle fed baby

4. How I Survived Babydom | 17 Must-Have Baby Items: I give a list of my favorite baby items that best helped me navigate motherhood.


3. How to Help a Woman in Labor: Simple hands on tips for new doulas and or partners on ways to best support a woman in her labor. This is also good for expectant moms to read as well – I offer lots of labor coping tips.

Photo by Lena Pettus

2. How to Tell if it’s Labor and Other Tips: This one I wrote way back in 2010, and it’s still a favorite among readers. Lots of little bits of advice to help you know what’s what in birth.

How to tell if it's labor and other tips

1.Birth Sensations & Protecting The Perineum Through It All: This one gets down to the nuts and bolts of pushing and what it feels like. I offer suggestions, tips and explanations on how to push effectively without damaging the perineum.


Our Green Acre Giveaway! And Awkward High School Stories & Pictures

12 Dec


Giveaway is closed! Congrats to Jenn R., our winner! 

Misty was my first friend at my new school. For a girl like me who had spent the majority of her life moving from state to state every few years, making a friend at a new school on their first day of class was like a real life scene from Sweet Valley High minus the blonde skinny chicks on the cover.

We met in 8th grade PE class (Okay, not exactly high school, but close enough.) Is there anything more dreadful to a cordinationally-challenged klutz like me than standing there waiting to be picked for basketball on your fist day of school. I still get all splotchy on my neck thinking about it.

I was so bad at basketball! And in this small town school being bad at basketball meant that you were unpopular, or at the very least, not popular with the people who thought that being good at basketball mattered – which was like 85 percent of the school.

Misty, though, unlike me, was good enough at basketball for it not to strike fear in her bowels as she approached PE class – meaning should could catch the ball, dribble to the other side of the court and make a shot, without falling over herself.

I, on the other hand, came to fear the ball. If and when it was thrown at me (which was very, very rare) it was more likely to bounce off of my head (happened once, I promise, I am not lying) than actually land in my hands.

Our entire graduating class of 1995. All of us a pure and precious as the wind-driven snow.

The entire graduating class of 1995 – as pure and precious as the wind-driven snow.

I digress.

Misty had something else going for her beside her basketball chops that I did not – something which gave her major street cred at our rural high school. She was born and raised in the rolling hills of the Ozark Mountains. Her family had settled the land six generations ago and her heritage in Newton County was (and still is) as long and deep and the very Buffalo river which runs through its foothills.

Misty and her daughter selling their awesome goodies at the Newton County Farmer's Market.

Misty and her daughter selling their goodies at the Newton County Farmer’s Market.

Today, Misty is an organic farmer and doer of all things good at Our Green Acre. And I do mean ALL THINGS (said in thunderous god-like voice). Her farm provides quality pasture raised organic large black hogs, beef, raw milk, chickens, honey, eggs, and produce.

Not only does she have a full on running organic farm that she handles entirely on her own, and the biggest pantry filled with the largest amount of home-made canned goods on the planet, she also makes soaps, and body scrubs, tinctures, essential oil potions –  you name it, she makes it.

And I’m not done yet, she also owns and runs Steel Creek Cabins – vacation cabins that her family built by the sweat of their own brow. You can see them here.

You want to know what the clincher of all clinchers is? She harvests her own beeswax from her own bees? Who does that?! I mean can that even be done?

Anyway, as you can tell, I think Misty is awesome and I want you to feel her awesomeness with me!

Because when another woman knocks it out of the park, we should all be proud! Way to represent! When I meet a woman who brings so much to the table, I’m full on doing a happy dance inside and I get inspired to let my little light shine too.

hot roll

white sox misty

You know what else is great about Misty besides her white socks? She’s generous! Meaning, she’s giving away some of her amazing products to share with you.

So here’s what is up for grabs in this giveaway (white socks not included):

Boo Boo Balm:  This healing salve is full of herb infused oil that promotes healing of chaffed skin, inflamed skin, cuts, scrapes, burns or just as an intense hand, elbow & feet treatment. Ingredients: raw local honey; olive oil infused with st. john’s wort, comfrey and calendula petals; organic beeswax; coconut oil; raw cocoa butter; organic shea butter; orange essential oil. 5oz jar of Boo Boo Balms sells for $12.

Chest rub: This chest rub is an all natural alternative to Vic’s Vapor Rub that works wonders.  Full of infused herbs (horehound, mullein, peppermint, thyme and calendula) and essential oils (wintergreen, rosemary and melaluca) this rub not only soothes, but helps heal chest congestion issues.   5oz jars of Chest Rub sells for $12.

Beer & Herbs Soap:  All natural and zero animal fats, these soaps are made from coconut, palm, olive & rape seed oil. Scented with essential oils (young living) and made with all natural ingredients, there’s no artificial anything! Because fragrance oils are not used, the soaps do not have a heavy or overwhelming smell. Soaps sell for $5.

Lip balm: With ingredients like organic cocoa butter, organic beeswax, coconut oil and essential oils you can’t go wrong. Protective for the wind & cold, and luxurious during warm weather too, this lip balm is amazing.  Each tube is hand filled, labeled and shrink-wrapped by Misty in her home.  Tubes are made from 35% recycled material.  Lip balm sells for $3.

Here's what you can win!

Here’s what you can win!

One lucky person gets all of this and it could be you! Here’s how to win: 
(I’m a little old-fashioned with giveaways so it’s all about “earning comments” which will increase your chance to win. I will tally up the comments and use a number generator to select a winner.) Here’s how to earn your comments:


Comment on this blog post, (if you tell me your worst PE story I’ll love you forever), that counts as one entry.


Friend request Our Green Acres and you earn an additional comment on this post.


Share this post on your Facebook page and you’ll earn another entry.

So, that gives you three possible entries.

The giveaway winner will be chosen, contacted through email, and announced on my Facebook page, Tuesday morning, December 17th.

Discount Code for those who can’t be bothered with a giveaway:
Misty also sells amazing sugar scrubs, lotion bars and more soaps than you can imagine. So if you want some awesome stocking stuffers for the naturally minded friend you love, or for yourself, and giveaways annoy you, then just go straight for the gold, and get you some right now, here’s the link: ourgreenacre. When you place your order include “GIVEAWAY10%” to get your ten percent discount from Our Green Acres. Email your orders to Misty at:  

Good luck!

Where Have I Been And Why Have I Been Away So Long?

8 Dec

Good Question.

Let me try to explain. But first let’s imagine that you and I are already really good friends. Because it’ll be easier for me to explain myself if I feel that we’ve got history and we know each other really well instead of the reality that you and I probably wouldn’t recognize each other if we passed in the aisle at Trader Joe’s.

I have this friend, and she has this expression, “don’t hear what I’m not trying to say.” She says it when saying something that’s kind of tricky to say, or could be taken the wrong way. When she says it to me, I know to listen up, because she’s going to say something that’s honest and unfiltered.

So, I’m saying it now, because there’s a few tricky things I’m going say in this blog post and I don’t want anyone to take my honesty about why I’ve been away the wrong way.

That’s the thing with blogging. We’re limited to this digital relationship. This blog doesn’t let you hear my tone of voice,  or see my body language. This blog post doesn’t let us share smiles or laughter together (at least in person). This screen you’re looking at hides everything that’s crammed in between the words I’m saying. And that’s why it makes what we write on a blog so easy to misinterpret – so much meaning comes from how it’s being said, and not just from what is being said.

But you know that, because you’re smart and self-aware and loving. And you’re my friend. (This is me giving you a high-five!)

Where have I been since my last post in March?

I’ve been in busy town, right next to crazy town. That’s where.

In March I started very slowly packing up our little renovated Victorian rental home in La Grange, IL. Peter, my husband, would graduate from The School of The Art Institute of Chicago with not one, but two masters in May, and we were moving. Somewhere…

To where? We had NO CLUE.

Wherever he got a job, really. We hoped we would be able to get back to Texas, close to our friends in Denton, or Austin, but we didn’t get there, but we sure tried! (I’ll tell you where we did land here in a bit.)

As you can imagine, I needed fewer distractions and my blog and Facebook page were becoming an escape/excuse from reality rather than a tool for me to communicate my passions and love. Also, for a season I needed to let my blog and Facebook page take a back seat to my personal life as I dealt with all the uncertainty in front of my family.

So I shut it down. Without a word. I know. Sorry. I didn’t tell anyone I was about to do it because I didn’t want to seem attention seeking or appear like I was looking for affirmation in keeping it going. Also, because it wasn’t something I had planned to do. I woke up one morning and just did it. (Sometimes I’m rash.)

Peter and me just after his graduation ceremony at Millennial Park.

Congratulations Peter on your MFA in Film, Video and New Media, and MA in Visual Critical Studies from the The School of the Art Institute of Chicago and recipient of the William Merchant R. French Fellowship! (That us at Chicago’s Millennium park, where his commencement took place, just after the ceremony!)

Peter graduated! It was really special! I was so proud! Those two masters degrees that he got in the 18 months we were in Chicago felt like mine too!

The very day after graduation we emptied our home of all our belongings and got on the road to … Arkansas.

In order to save money, we spent the summer living with my folks in a small town in the Ozark mountains of Northwestern Arkansas. I did graphic design work on the side and Peter filled out application after application after endless application.

By the last week of July, we still did not know what was next, we were still waiting to hear where we would be living and where Peter would be teaching. We were still waiting for Peter to land a job. Truthfully, it was scary.

The pressure was thick. Peter was a champ. I was losing it, though. I was not calm. I was panicked.

I started to regret choices; like our leaving Denton or not choosing a graduate school where tuition was covered. I started calculating how much his education cost us even with his half scholarship, both in physical and emotional terms, (especially if his degrees didn’t pay off) and the fear of those “what ifs” were really making me hard to live with.

I think it’s understandable when heavy stress surrounds your life that it affects the atmosphere around your family, but I really wish that I had more resilient faith that something great would work out. I just didn’t have that in me. Everything felt bleak. In that season of my heart, I didn’t have any extra oomph to blog about what pot-hole I was in.


At the end of a long day of packing almost everything up. The next day, we got on the road to Arkansas.


Just did our final walk through, locked up the doors. Here I am saying good-bye to our little charming Victorian home in Chicago.


After a long two-day road trip, we arrived in Arkansas. Our landing spot for the summer was tucked away in these hills.

We kept all our things in storage until we knew where we would land. We just finished unloading the truck! (and yes, my kids came along. I never have childcare when I need it! Haha!)

We kept all our things in storage until we knew where we would land. Here we are having just finished unloading the truck! (and yes, my kids came along. I never have childcare when I need it! Haha!)

Somehow during that crazy time, the first week of August, my family took a vacation to FL, thanks to my parents generosity. For the first time ever, my children met my brother, his wife, and his kids. My sister came along too. We were all there, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents. It was so special.

We rented a little cottage by the beach and sat on the shore every day. It was immensely healing and restorative for all of us, but especially for me. There is something about the ocean that soothes my heart.

It was on the last day of our vacation that Peter received a phone call where he was offered a position as a visiting professor at the University of North Carolina in Asheville. Of course, he accepted!

The relief was tangible. We were giddy. Actually, it felt like we won the lottery.

All the down time at the beach was good for all of us!

All the down time at the beach was good for all of us!

A family photo at Ana Maria Island.

A family photo at Ana Maria Island. The next day we got word of Peter’s job offer.

We made a mad dash to move to Asheville in time for classes, but unfortunately finding a rental in Asheville is like an extreme sport. And so Peter left ahead of us (just like the last two moves we have done) and I stayed behind in Arkansas with the kids and looked for rentals on Craigslist and dreamed of our new life in Asheville.

Fast forward four months, and here we are. We found a cozy little craftsman cottage in Asheville, Zoe is in preschool, Noah is home with me during the days and Peter has just finished teaching his first semester of school and he loves it!

Asheville has turned out to be a wonderful place to live! I just wish I could bring all my Texas friends here and then I would be set!

I’m still getting pictures hung on the walls and picking out paint for my room, just yesterday we put up our Christmas tree and I looked around our little home and felt deeply grateful and content.


The kids helping me decorate the Christmas tree in our new home. I’m standing behind the camera feeling really grateful.


Our little corner of the earth in Asheville. See that cute little garden, I did all that. Now it’s all mostly dead, because I can’t garden as well as I doula. :)

Look! Our little house has an official play room! Be still my heart!

Look! Our little Asheville home has an official play room! Be still my heart!

Why Have I Been Away So Long?

I know, we got settled at the end of summer. I could have started blogging and getting back in the swing of things with my page sooner. But I wasn’t there yet. I needed to refocus my heart. To really remember what is it that I love about being a doula and a childbirth educator.

I’ll tell you one thing is for sure, it’s not about having a successful blog or Facebook page, or making clever memes, and I needed to remember that.

Honestly? I’ve had the pleasure of knowing a handful of well-known bloggers in person, and with a few of them I’ve seen some icky egotistical thing creep out through their cracks, especially ones with a lot of readership or Facebook likes – this underlying feeling is present in their writing that shows they believe their voice is the most worthwhile one.


I could feel that creeping into my posts on Facebook and I just … blach. Barf. I hate that. Shake it off!

Run away! Run away! Run away!

I do not want to be someone who ever considers myself more highly than I ought to.  I do not want to assume that I am always the expert.

I want to keep my heart learning and humble. I want to be in relationship with you as friends, as mothers who are in this together, supporting you with my strengths, as you support me with yours.

So that is why I stepped out of it for so long. I needed to get back to the heart of what I love about being a doula and a birth educator: it’s about support. It’s about comfort. It’s about being present. It’s about being equally wise and still and protecting the space around a woman as she becomes a mother.

It’s about listening to others share their story. It’s about protecting and participating. It’s about showing and teaching, not directing and commanding. It’s about serving mothers and babies without promoting an image of self-importance.

I needed to center my heart towards that purpose again and it took some time to detox from all the noise in my head.

What’s next for me?

Teaching. Teaching. Teaching. And hopefully some writing, too.

Y’all, I’m going to have a little metaphorical baby: a low-cost, six-week childbirth class in my own home in Asheville, NC starting in late January ’14. Let’s do this!

Here’s to finding your home, living your passions, always learning, and staying the hell out of crazy town.


Yours truly, sporting the same gretchen-like braid everyday this past summer. Apparently my hair was in a rut, too.

Hugs to you, and thanks for being here with me,

Birth Sensations & Protecting The Perineum Through It All

15 Mar


Let’s talk about the perineum! (Yeah, high-five if you’ve got one – okay, it’s no secret everyone has one.) It’s a big concern among expectant moms, will my perineum make it out alive?

Sometimes in my childbirth classes I can literally see a huge floating question mark sitting on the tops of women’s heads. Like a thought bubble pleading silently, “Can you talk about vaginas, now!? Will mine ever look the same!? Will I be normal after birth? What will happen to my perineum during childbirth?”

Well, before we answer those questions we need to understand some of the sensations women may experience during childbirth and what we can do to protect the perineum through it all.

Alright, let’s dive right in, shall we? First let’s examine the vagina, or rather the vulva, and talk about the perineum and what happens towards the end of labor:

Screen shot 2013-03-14 at 1.33.42 PMThe perineum is the skin between the vagina and the anus, which thins out and stretches over the baby’s presenting part (usually the head) as it is born. (Source) During second stage (pushing) the perineum plays an especially vital role in the birth of the baby.

Okay, let’s talk about what’s going on down there as we approach second stage!

(“Down there” and “bottom” are lite and easy words that I use to describe the vagina, vaginal opening, vulva, perineum and rectum. These are the words my midwife used with me and I will use them with you! Okidoki?)

Building Pressure:

As baby descends and engages and labor deeply progresses, a woman will experience increasing pressure in her bottom as her pelvic passage begins to stretch open. Often, the stimulation sends a signal to a laboring mother’s brain that she needs to have a bowel movement. And sometimes that’s exactly what a laboring mother may do.

I’ve worked with a lot of moms who, while in the thick of labor, look up at me with urgency and quickly move to the bathroom. Baby’s decent stimulated her bowels. On occasion the laboring mother may have a genuine need to go (this is nature’s lovely way of making sure that doesn’t happen during second stage), or other times the mom may simply relax on the toilet, letting her muscles soften till she becomes more comfortable with these new sensations. Either response is totally normal.

Keep in mind, the pressure felt during birth is sometimes really alarming, because, let’s be honest here, we’ve spent our whole life learning to be discrete about the urge to poop. But in the case of childbirth (and possibly a few other occasions!) this sensation is cause for celebration, it tells us baby is descending and the mother is moving closer towards holding her baby in her arms.


Often at this stage in labor, you’ll begin to hear mothers grunt at the peak of their contractions. Imagine, mom is moaning through her contraction and suddenly her breathy bellowing goes like this, “ooooooooooooooh, oooooooooooooooooh, ooooo uh, uh, uh, uh, uhr, uhr, uhr, oooooooooh, oooooooh, oooooh”

Aha! That’s a great sound! Those short little grunty noises that mom just made in the middle of her contraction signal that her body is beginning to involuntarily push at the peak of her rush.


As baby descends, increasing pressure is felt in the bottom and the rectum is stimulated.

Supportive Hands:

You’ll also sometimes see, as a laboring mother begins to feel that all-consuming pressure, that she will place her hands right on her bottom, cupping her groin and supporting her vulva. That’s wonderful and absolutely normal! Besides for giving her bottom additional support during this stage, it also allows the laboring mother to stay more in touch and in control of her body’s response to labor. What’s not to love!?

Pressure, grunting, and supportive hands are clear signs that birth is progressing…

Does that mean it’s time to push yet? No, not necessarily. It only means what she’s telling us from her body language: her bottom is feeling pressure, things are being stimulated, baby is descending and birth is progressing normally.


Enjoy, Accept, Relax

At this transitional stage between first and second stage of labor, it’s ideal for mom to not add additional force (just yet!) as she begins to feel those early urges to push. As her uterus contracts, the bands of muscle thicken at the top of the fundus and begin to push down on their own, expelling baby further into the birth canal, this is the beginning of what will soon become a very strong urge to push.

It’s a good idea at this cross-road in labor to encourage mom to enjoy knowing just how well her body is working, accept the intensity of the change in sensations she’s feeling, and relax into her rushes a little more fully. This provides mom with an opportunity to wrap her brain around the idea of what the pushing urge feels like before diving right into it.

Powerful Pressure | Second Stage | Pushing

As labor thickens into heavy travail (an old Biblical word that I feel really adequately describes transitional labor) the intensity of pressure a woman begins to feel increases exponentially.

Baby’s head is now stretching the vaginal and pelvic floor muscles. Receptors in these tissues trigger involuntary pushing, and signal more oxytocin to the body – a complex hormone which stimulates contractions. (Source) A woman will now begin to feel the urge to push through almost the entirety of her contraction and not just the peak of it.

Mom will need reassurance at this point that she is okay, she needs to know that the pressure she feels is normal, and that even if she’s absolutely convinced she will birth her baby out of her butt, she will not. (Yeah, I said it.)

The intensity of the pressure is admittedly scary, but it’s also needed in order to bring forth baby into the world. And while it’s like nothing any first-time mother will have felt before, and can be utterly overwhelming, it is still very normal in terms of childbirth and not to be feared.

This is a doorway in labor that mothers walk through, there is no way around this passage of birth intensity, only through it. It is time to push!


Please note, while these illustrations are fantastic, the information on step four regarding suctioning a baby is now contraindicated and outdated. Evidence now states that unless baby is unresponsive, suctioning is not necessary. Source: //

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

As mom pushes her baby down and out in that wonderful “J” shape of pushing, we’ll often see a little two-step dance, baby descends during the contraction, pressing on the perineum and the perineum begins to bulge and expand, and after the contraction ends, baby moves up and the perineum softens and relaxes. This happens over and over again.

This is a process my own midwives and mentors taught me to refer to as “two steps forward, one step back.” This dance is very important for the integrity of the perineum. It allows the skin to stretch slowly and gently, giving the perineum time to accommodate the baby’s head without tearing.

Ring of Fire

Once the head of the baby has firmly ducked under the pelvic bone, crowning will begin to take place. We use the term “crowning” to describe how the vaginal opening and vulva stretches around baby’s head looking like a crown.

As baby crowns, the labia and perineum begin to expand and bulge, this point is often referred to as the “ring of fire.” There is a lot of stinging and burning accompanied with the ring of fire, fortunately, it doesn’t last for too long, although we shouldn’t rush through it. This stinging sensation sends a message to the woman’s body to hold off on pushing. (Source)

(On a side note, sometimes as an exercise to describe the ring of fire to my students, I’ll ask them to stretch open the sides of their mouth with their fingers. I find this gives a good sense of the type of stinging that’s felt in birth. As a bonus, everyone looking ridiculous together usually gets us all laughing, which is always good when talking about crowning!)

During crowning it’s good for the laboring mother to stop adding additional force to her body’s own urge to push. Instead she should breathe out her baby and allow her body to do the work on its own. (This is something she has already practiced in birth during the transitional stage mentioned above. See, it all comes together now!)

You see, after the baby’s head is through the pelvis, only the tender perineal tissues are holding baby in (Source), and the mother needs to be mindful of not pushing too forcefully in order to protect this area of a her body.

How does she do that? She breathes her baby out…

Breathing Baby Out

Gentle, easy breaths that resemble panting allow the baby’s head to emerge slowly and tenderly, helping to keep the perineum intact. Actually, for many mothers breathing out her baby is an innate response to the ring of fire.

Think about it: a base response to pain, for all ages, are quick short breaths. I see my children do this all the time. A little high-pitched panting expression that happens when they’ve smashed their finger or stubbed their little toe.

Likewise, when mothers are left to labor without heavy coaching, at the point of crowning, you’ll sometimes see this panting and high-pitched breathing technique occur. (Watch some birth videos, and listen for that quick high-pitched breathy howl at crowning, and then you’ll start to see it all the time.)

Supporting The Perineum

Also, a mother’s hands may instinctively reach down again and apply pressure to her own perineum. Although, I should mention it’s quite common that you’ll see the midwife or OB apply slight counter pressure to a woman’s perineum at this stage too. Also, some care providers will apply a warm compress or olive oil to a mother’s perineum to assist in preventing tears.

To view a photograph of a crowning baby and a perineum stretching out beautifully in birth click this link from wisewomanchildbirthPerineum stretching in birth.

Once the baby’s head has fully crowned, it will only be another couple of pushes before baby is born. After the birth of the baby’s head, baby’s shoulders are delivered, and the rest of the baby’s body pours out from its mother shortly after.

It’s miraculous to see and testifies to the function and beauty of the female body.Women’s bodies are just amazing, y’all!


Image source unknown

There are a lot of things a woman can do that will increase her chances of having an intact perineum, here are a few of my tips, please note this list is not exhaustive or comprehensive:

  • Diet and hydration play a valuable role in the health of a woman’s perineum, for a great post on this go here: Protecting Your Perineum From The Inside Out
  • Practice pelvic floor exercises during pregnancy. (You may want to rethink Kegels, here’s a link that says why: Pelvic Floor Party, Kegels Are Not Invited)
  • A mother should avoid birthing on her back, but rather birth on her side, in an upright and or squatting position, or on her hands and knees.
  • Warm compresses (not hot!) on the perineum during labor, or birth in warm water.
  • Avoid power pushing. Power pushing, or what is known as purple pushing, is when a woman holds her breath for long periods of time and pushes beyond what feels comfortable or natural to her body. This type of pushing increases a woman’s chance of tearing.
  • Avoid widely flexed legs. Knees should be pointing forward and not to the sides. Source | Source
  • Follow her own body’s cues during crowning and slow down her pushing.
  • Use a mirror, if she’s comfortable with that. Seeing what’s happening during second stage can help the mother connect to her body, and allow her to direct her body’s urges better.
  • The laboring mother should move to positions that are most comfortable for her during second stage. For example, the mother could say, “Before my next contraction starts, I would like to turn to my left side. Would you help me do this, please?”
  • Hire a doula! A doula reduces a woman’s need for an epidural and for forceps delivery, both of which increase the laboring mother’s odds of perineal damage.
  • The mother should find a care provider who supports birthing in ways which allow for an intact perineum.

Related articles

What You Don’t Know About Episiotomies Can Hurt You (

Get Through Childbirth in One Piece!

Avoiding Tears and Episiotomies

Perineal Protectors (read the comments, too!)

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